Roses Are Red (And So is My Hatred)

We've all heard the "Roses are Red, Violets are Blue" poems. I'm going to go ahead and write my own right now. Whatever is on this post, I have made up on the spot. I did not pre-plan any of this. Which would explain why this poem sucks (if it turns out to suck). Here goes:


Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
I miss all That Time
That I Once Spent With You

But Remember that Night
Your husband came in?
Yep, I do too;
He dislocated my shin
And he broke my jaw
While you sat there and watched
Why didn't you help?
Answer: CUZ YOU'RE A BIATCH!

You should've backed me up
Said "Honey, this ain't nothin'
This guy fixed our garden,
I was bakin' him muffins."
I woulda played along
like, "Yep. I'm that guy.
I pulled up your weeds,
So your flowers won't die."
And he'd been like, "Oh sorry,
I feel so bad,
You were just here to help.
Oh what a good lad."

Ida been like, "Yep,
No trouble at all."
If that had been said,
HE'D HAVE NOT BROKE MY JAW!
But instead you just sat there,
you didn't protest,
HE FRIGGIN' DONKEY PUNCHED ME
in my back, in my chest,
and I couldn't breath,
I was spittin' up blood
While your husband just laughed,
said, "Suck it up, stud."

I said, "My name isn't Stud,
It's Chip, you fat fart."
Which was a bad idea,
cuz he punched my sensitive part.
I was like, "DANG!
THAT HURT, HOLY CRUD!"
And he was like, "YEP!
THAT'S MESSY LIKE MUD!"

Uuuuuummmm....
That last line he said
still doesn't make sense
Even now, I look back,
it still sounds kinda dense,
Messy Like Mud?
Was that an insult, or what?
That's like saying, "You're Chicken,
and I am the BUTT!" (What?)


Sure my ribs hurt,
and my kidney was split,
But after your husband's beating,
I didn't give a [expletive].
I was just plain confused.
What was messy? Was it me?
Or was it blood on the carpet,
he was referencing.

Blood is Red
My Bruises were Blue
Did I mention, you whore,
I ain't happy wit choo?
I ain't, not at all,
cuz your husband's beatdown
sent me to the ER,
and you never came round.

So now you call me up,
in two thousand ten
asking "Wassup?" and
"How have things been?"
And you wonder why
I don't answer you straight?
I'M IN A HOSPITAL, SLUT,
I'M IN FRIGGIN' PAIN
I SAID I MISS THAT TIME
THAT I SPEND WITH YOU
BUT YOU'RE JUST MESSY LIKE MUD
Yep... And I mean it too.