Peter Pan (Chicago Style)

Hello folks. This is how the story of Peter Pan would've ended if he had showed up in my window instead of Wendy's.

PETER PAN
by Chip Davis

Like a poop in the grass
I just laid there, still
He crawled through my window,
up onto the sill.

I was like, "Yo dude,
stop staring at me."
And that's when I noticed
his best friend fairy.

He says, "My name's Peter,
Peter Pan is the name.
Will you come with me?"
I said "No."
(Peter:) "That's a shame."

Peter said, "If by free will,
you won't take my hand,
I'll have my friend fairy
bring you back to Neverland.
At gunpoint, I say,
at gunpoint indeed.
And if you try to escape,
she'll bust a cap in your seed.
So you best come with, Chip,
if you desire to live."
I shrugged, said "Ok,"
but then pulled out my shiv.

I stabbed Tinkerbell,
cuz she had it comin'.
And when she fell down,
I showed Peter summin'.
I said, "Yo *** is doomed,
you Immortal Brat!"
Then I whip out my Glock,
and it spits out KAKK KAKK!

The Lost Boy collapsed,
bullets peppered his chest,
then Tinkerbell said,
"Petey, I did my best."

I said "Shut up, ho!"
then I waved my gun
Peter said, "Please, Chip.."
I said, "Shut yo mouth, son.
You come in my crib,
and then threaten me, playa?
Don't you deny it,
don't you be no naysayer!
I run this show!
There's just no denyin'!"
Then I leafed through his wallet,
and they both laid there dyin'.

The fairy went first.
I felt no shame.
Peter said, "You killed her!"
Well, that's the name of the game.

I said, "Don't come climbin'
up into my room,
then threaten my life
cuz I'll mess you up, BOOM!"
Then I picked up young Peter
(he made a groaning sound)
as I tossed him out the window.
THUMP! He hit the ground.

All the Lost Boys and all the Lost girls
Heard about Pete's death in the real world
They cried and sobbed, but the moral they got:
You sneak in my house, and you gunna get shot!